Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My dick has a subreddit
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
