i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
