1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My life is pants optional.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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