So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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