I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
