You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize