I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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