I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
