I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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