Pants 0. Shit 1.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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