saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
