So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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