I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize