You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
