I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
