Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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