I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize