last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
