the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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