I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize