weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
4 words: hood of his car
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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