And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
