i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
