Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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