I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
