Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
