My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
