Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
