its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
