Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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