I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
