Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
