i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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