I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
