Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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