You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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