if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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