I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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