yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
