Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
