So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
