Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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