Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
