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I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
