Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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