Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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