Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
