Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
