Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
