Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
