I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
