Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
