I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize