I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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