32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
