he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
