I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
