Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize