So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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