I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
