sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize