Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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