Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
