She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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