We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
