Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i have two assholes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
