i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize