took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
