you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
