im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
