If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
