Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
