Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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