I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
