First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
