Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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